You know I am a believer that life has your back. 100%! And I truly do my best to look at life from this perspective. It’s all an opportunity for growth, right?
And sometimes I forget!!!
Especially when something really old gets triggered. And let me tell you, in the past few weeks, something old got triggered!!!
There is an expression in the healing community: 3T’s “Trust the Trigger to Teach”. And I do practice this! But sometimes the trigger is so strong, my Inner DRAGON takes over before I can catch it!
And it’s times like these that it takes some serious inner intervention to stop me from firing off a text message that I will most certainly regret. And sometimes I'm just not quick enough to intervene!
So let me tell you what happened, because even though I didn’t see the gift in all this at first,
it’s a priceless gem!
I recently hired someone to support me behind the scenes in my business. The idea was that her team would take care of the technical pieces while I focused on the parts I’m good at: coaching, content creation and running my program.
Right off the bat, I need to come clean and own that it wasn’t my highest, most empowered self who did the hiring. Nope. It was definitely my inner child. Because I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the responsibilities of a new launch, and my friend told me she had a person who she absolutely loved! And I love her...so I went all in on hiring throwing out all my normal checks. I am embarrassed to say, I didn’t even read over the contract before signing. So I am admitting to you that I did all the things you don’t do when you are sitting in the seat of power. You don’t make decisions from a place of fear. That’s always a wounded self who is playing victim. I know better, but what can I say, I’m not perfect and I still have my own growth edges to face off with as I expand. Anyway, this podcast is called Humble Pie so, stay with me.
Well, let’s just say it hasn’t been a smooth transition. 🙈 😳🙈 Actually, I have experienced more frustration than support. And I've found myself falling into a familiar old narrative, “I’m not supported and I have to do it all myself.”
Ugh! This feeling of not being supported in my life hadn’t come up in a while. Probably because I’ve arranged my outer life so there’ve been very few opportunities for me to feel this way. Two big things I did: I married a man who is incredibly supportive AND I sold my business so I have no one working under me.
I’m well aware that feeling supported in your life is an inner game and yet, I definitely built a fortress around myself anyway! Without even realizing I was doing it!
After way too many misunderstandings, my frustration built to the point of boiling and then there was a final straw situation and out came the dragon! I did the very thing one should never do, I shot off a text without a pause, demanding some accountability. Then I heard nothing from her for two days!
Silence is a powerful thing. It causes you to stop and check yourself. So that’s what I did. I went back through our communication thread, only to discover I was the one who had miscommunicated my needs this time!
Well, that knocked me down a few notches and I was quick to own my part and apologize. And what’s so amazing about this humbling experience is it made me do a lot of self-reflecting. The truth is, as long as I had an excuse to only blame her, I would continue to give my power away to her. Making myself the victim of this whole experience. When in truth, I did this whole thing to myself! I’m the one who hired her in the first place, ignoring all the red flags!
And it’s all Divinely perfect! This horribly uncomfortable experience of feeling unsupported has been the perfect opportunity for me to be a stand for the level of support I deserve.
So, when I reframe this whole experience from the lens “it’s all happening for me”, I can see what an absolute genius I am to hire someone with the exact personality and communication style that would drive me insane, triggering my deep-seated limiting belief of being unsupported! And now I get to step even more powerfully into feeling supported from the inside.
Having this experience show up again after all this time, has helped me to see exactly where I have not been supporting ME on the inside. Now that I see it, I can address it. And I must!
Because if I don’t, I will continue to unconsciously create circumstances in my life where I feel unsupported! That’s how the law of attraction works! As within, so without! Not the other way around!
We’re doing this beautiful healing inner work together in the Heroine’s Journey Program. And it feels so powerful to get to practice and grow alongside other women doing the work to claim empowerment.
If you missed signing up this round, no worries! I will definitely be running it again!